Why?

Apparently, everyone at Sunset forgot that last week was "Random Acts of Kindness" week, and just one month ago was "Anti-Bully Week". Just because the week has passed doesn't mean its okay to bully again, or be rude again. What is wrong with high school these days? A lot. That's for sure.

I'm not sure what's worse; the fact that someone made a "Gossip Girl" twitter account, or the fact that 85 people follow it, and it's only been up for one hour. Following them is exactly what they want. Tweeting at them  saying how pathetic they are is exactly what they want. Its adding fuel to the fire. The things posted clearly aren't true, but the fact that people read them and talk about them makes them true to some people. The entire thing is just pathetic. It's weak, and the person who did it should be ashamed. I feel bad for whoever it was; they need a serious self esteem boost, not to mention a big old slap in the face by karma. Who's the bitch now?

A couple days ago there was a Facebook "Sunset Slut" Page. Really, I mean REALLY? First off, that's not even original, second, its incredibly rude. I don't think people understand that words can hurt. We all know the saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" but in high school, they do hurt. More than we should let them, but we're insecure and we worry too much about what other people think. Making accounts that bash on other people is one way that causes teen suicide. It's why there are school shootings and why kids bring guns and knives to school.
Does that make you feel safe? Does knowing that by creating this account to bash on the "populars" or the "sluts" or the "douche bags" makes the risk of a school shooting that much bigger? Does that make you want to go to school? I don't know about you, but it makes me scared. I don't want a school shooting. I don't want someone from my school to commit suicide because of this. I don't want anything bad to happen to my school, because, believe it or not, I like it. I like everyone that goes there. I may be annoyed with people at times, but I'm old enough and mature enough to know when to let it go. It doesn't do anyone any good to bash on other people, and if you never learn that lesson, I feel really sorry for you.

To whoever made those accounts, I can't begin to explain how sorry I feel for you. There's no need to create negative attention to get noticed. Maybe being noticed isn't all it's cracked up to be. There are more important things in life than being noticed in high school. What people remember most about you is what they learn about you in high school. Before you do anything too stupid, why not think, "Do I want to be remembered like this?"

Think twice before you do something, especially something on social networking sites. Karma's a bitch and always has a way of coming back.

Hope for the Hopeless

I'm a girl. That means I'm a hopeless romantic, like all girls at one point in their lives. Every girl dreams of the fairytale wedding, the Nicholas Sparks romance, and the happily ever after fireworks. It's romantic, heartwarming, and entirely Hollywood. Yet we still believe, hope, and pray that we are the exception to this heart crushing reality. It's depressing, really. When I think about it, reading Nicholas Sparks books or watching romantic movies just puts me in a downer mood. It's cute and makes me smile, don't get me wrong, but it just makes me sad. It makes me jealous more than anything, which is silly because the entire idea is fake. Someone, somewhere, came up with this perfect idea, this dream, and wrote a script or a novel about it for others to enjoy. I don't enjoy it; I envy it.
Its stupid that I put so much thought into perfection. It can never be reached. Ever. Which makes the world we live in beautiful. Everyone has their flaws, their troubles, their frustration. It makes us human. Yet too many people strive to be perfect, altering their natural self with plastic surgery, pounds of make up, or designer clothes. What people don't seem to understand is that behind all that, there is still a perfectly imperfect human, waiting to be let free.
I've come to the realization that it is completely pointless to strive for perfection. I've already known its impossible, but now I realize it's just a waste of time. I'd rather rock my flaws then hide them. At least I'm being honest with the world about who I am and there are no secrets. Secrets can be really ugly, especially ones that have been kept hidden for a while. Which is why the truth should just be told.

I can't help that I fall for the fairy tale romance, the movie dreams, and the forever and always love. I'd be lying if I said I'd never dreamed my life was a movie. There are those moments in life where you just wish your dreams would come true and something romantic would happen, whether it be the guy of your dreams traveling hundreds of miles to find you and tell you how much he loves you, or simply going on a perfect date like one that only happens in movies. We all wish we had spontaneous romance in our lives, but unfortunately, that's not always the case.

If you are lucky enough to have a relationship like that, cherish it. Everyone wants one, but you are lucky enough to find one right now. And for the rest of us who have yet to find this perfection, have patients. It hasn't happened because it hasn't been the right time.

Timing is everything, and if something is meant to be, it will happen in good time.

Hot and Cold

I don't know if it's a severe case of senioritis or what, but lately, I've been really on edge when it comes to colleges. If someone tries to talk to me about it, I get incredibly irritated and snappy. I don't know why and I can't help it. I assume its because I feel so much pressure when it comes to choosing. A lot of people have had their lives planned out since freshman year. They know where they are going, what to study, who they will be rooming with. That's the thing that stresses me out. I had a plan, but it's nothing like what I'm thinking now. I don't know for a fact where I'm going, I've dipped my toes into countless programs to find my true calling, and I think I've yet to find one I really love. I don't think I'll know until I get to the school of my dreams. Which may be never, considering I'm facing the toughest decision of my life.
It's silly, really, to be so stressed about what college to go to. It's not like I'm signing away the next four years of my life; I can always transfer. I guess I just don't want more than one freshman year. Freshman year of high school was rough enough, now I have to have a second freshman year, this time for college. Two is more than enough, but if it comes down to it, I'd much rather be happy at the school I go to, even if it means moving around, than to be miserable for four years.
Even writing about this is making me irritated. I've just been that way lately.

Even some people are irritating me. The way they are acting just doesn't make any sense. Friends are supposed to support one another, right? But I've been seeing the complete opposite from some of my friends. I'm not trying to be hypocritical, I know I was doing the same, but seeing it from an outside perspective made me realize it's not okay. I believe in the fact that at some point, you're opinions only go so far, and your friends have to make the ultimate decision for themselves, whether it's one you approve of or not. It's a lesson for them, it's their life, let them live it. Besides, it may turn out completely opposite of what you expected. Friends are a support system, the opinions of them are always valued, but they aren't the ones who get to decide how to live your life for you. I understand if the intentions are purely to protect you, but at some point, as hard as it may be to do, friends just have to let go, and let mistakes be made. They exist for a reason; to make you stronger.
So for those of you who are facing difficulties in life, I guess all I have to say is do what your heart tells you. You only live once, so make it worth it. Take every chance that comes your way, you may never know what you'll end up regretting. That is one lesson I've quickly learned this year.

Religion?

Now I don't mean to offend anyone with this, and I'm certainly not trying to attack anyone's beliefs or views. These are simply my thoughts. If you take offense easily, I would suggest you stop reading. I won't take offense, really. I don't care if you stop. And if you continue, I warned you. So don't complain about it.
Moving on...

A lot of people went to Breakaway this weekend. Scratch that, almost everybody who's anybody went. I didn't, for multiple reasons. One being that I was out of town, but another being I'm not entirely sure I would have wanted to go. I'm not too familiar with what Breakaway is exactly, but I know it is some sort of religious camp put together by Young Life where other high school students gather at the beach for a weekend? Don't quote me on that, but that's my general understanding. Personally, I think it's great that so many people want to get together and discuss their common interests and beliefs in God and religion. It just doesn't seem like its for me. I don't know, I'm not really a religious person, so to speak.

I don't consider myself to be a specific religion, I don't go to church every Sunday, and in fact, the only time I've ever been to church is on Christmas Day in New Zealand a year ago. And I felt uncomfortable. I'm not sure if it was because I'd never been before, or if it was because it was Christmas Day, a very religious day to some, or if it was because I felt as if I was being forced to believe something I was completely unsure about. I'm not sure I'll ever fully understand. All I know is that I felt vulnerable and uncomfortable sitting in that church on Christmas Day.

I don't know what I believe, and to be completely honest, I've never really thought about it. I guess it just didn't seem all that important to me. I'm not an atheist, I'm just not sure what to believe in. I think there is definitely some form of something out there, but I'm not sure I'd put myself under the umbrella of a religion. I'd prefer to be my own sort of religion and believe exactly what I want to believe, rather than put myself into a group of people telling me what I should believe.

I guess the reason I've thought about this lately is I feel as if I've been forced to believe certain things. There has been so much going on around me that seems so religion-based and it is really making me think about things. There are clubs, Young Life, and even people who are always talking about God and religion and I feel as if I'm being brainwashed. Not that it is necessarily a bad thing, I mean some people love their religion and their faith in God, which is great. I just feel like it's not really for me, and I would much rather discover it on my own rather than feel as if it's being forced upon me.

I believe what I choose to believe, but I respect everyone else's beliefs. We are individuals, and our personalities represent who we are. Don't let anyone take that from you, and don't let others persuade you into something you're unsure of.

Greedy Americans

Normally, I don't blog like this, but I'm just so heated and I need to vent.

I was just talking with someone about the NBA lockout and how ridiculous it is. Why can't they come to an agreement? I get that the players don't really want a 40% pay cut, but when their salary is in the MILLIONS, I think they will be able to survive. They should have been saving some of their money in the first place. But at the same time, it's the owners faults for being in this predicament in the first place. It's the owners who agreed to the current terms back in 1999 when the last lockout was going on. The owners dug themselves into this ditch, it's not fair for them to demand an easy way out.
In all honesty, I just want to march into the negotiations and scream at everyone. Why can't these two sides come to an agreement? Because they are greedy and narrow minded. Don't get me wrong, I love my basketball, and I miss watching it and going to Blazer games, but really, the players and owners need to open their eyes and see each others point of view.

If that was the way more people were, the world would be a much more peaceful place. We wouldn't have the NBA lockout issue, there would never have been an NFL lockout issue, this whole "Occupy" trend wouldn't be such a big deal. Americans are so narrow minded. (Mind you, when I say Americans, I'm talking about the general, stereotypical American. Not everyone is this way.) They refuse to see the other point of view. Who knows, the other side might have some good ideas that could be used to form a compromise.
That word, compromise, is one that doesn't seem to be in the American dictionary. It seems that no one knows how to compromise. Things can't always be perfect, you can't always get what you want, and everything comes at a price. Life is a give and take sort of thing. Why can't people understand that.

I think everything needs to be redone. Wipe the slate clean, start over. But that is clearly not going to happen. These are Americans were talking about.

I guess my point to this venting ramble is that we need to find the true meaning to a compromise. Life is full of them, and we need to learn that nothing is perfect, and there is a price to pay for everything.

Also, we need to bring back the NBA. I'm having withdrawals.

The Deep End

The deep end of high school is still pretty shallow. The halls are filled with shallow people, people who care too much about other's opinions, other's thoughts, the way they are judged. They focus on what they want others to see, rather than who they really are. They hang out with certain people just for the popularity points. They want to look good, at all times. They aim to be perfect. I just don't get it.

The hashtag on twitter #10ThingsIFindAttractive is what sparked this post. While scrolling through, the majority of them were about looks. People find perfect teeth attractive, a "hot body", a nice ass, big boobs, a perfect smile. Very rarely did I come across one that had something to do with personality. Which proves my point.

I can't even count the number of times I've heard people say such shallow things. Mean Girls was right in depicting high school. It may be a bit extreme at times, but for the most part, it's pretty accurate. Maybe take Mean Girls and tone it down to 35% and you've reached Sunset High School. Make a few changes here and there, and boom. Sunset and Mean Girls are the same thing. It is actually terrifying to think about, knowing how messed up the society in Mean Girls is. It is happening in our high school, as well as others all around the country. Possibly even around the world. High school is a shallow place, and I'm always afraid for those who hit rock bottom. They say nothing is worse than hitting it, but the trip down is a hard one to watch.

As much as I hate shallow people, and the way they act, and the things they say, sometime, I can't help but to wonder. I want to know what people think when they see me. I want to know how I'm being judged. I won't take it offensively; I'm not going to change because of it. I am the way that I am, and I'm happy with that. I'm just curious as to what other's think when they see me. What clique would I be put into if it were exactly like Mean Girls? Where would I sit at lunch? Would I have been invited to Cady's party? Would you?

I like the way that I am, I like the people I surround myself with. I know they are real, I know they are honest, and I appreciate it. I fear for those who constantly judge others, and those who try to be someone they aren't. Who are you fooling? Some day, your true colors will show. Why not show them sooner, rather than later?

Always be cautious of the depths of high school. It's not as deep as you think.

For Me, Shared With You

Today, I was interviewed for the school newspaper about blogs. Some of the questions were why I blogged, what I blogged about, what I got out of blogging. Basic questions. Simple questions. But for some reason, I had a hard time explaining it. To be quite honest, I don't really know why I blog. But here is an entire post, just for the sake of it, to help me think through it. Which I guess is sort of why I do it...

I blog about experiences in my life, things that have happened to me, things that have made an impact. Whether the impact be minor or major, positive or negative, I blog about it. I suppose it's a way of me letting my feelings out, but in a way that is helpful to others who read it. It's like a diary, but public. The things I say here are mainly for me, but I'm giving others the privilege to read them. I find that I always come to some sort of moral at the end, which some could argue is for the reader. I like to think that the entire post is directed for me, the writer, rather than you, the reader.
I come to these morals and conclusions through writing about it. It helps me find the message within the experience, helps me to understand why exactly it happened to me. Some would call it fate, and just leave it at that, but I'm not one to put all my eggs in one basket. I'm not saying I don't believe in fate, I'm just saying that I think there is a reason for everything, and I would like to come to my own conclusions as to why it happened, rather than just letting it be.
Another question I was asked was if I gave out personal information on here. Of course not, that would be plain silly. I know not to do that, I know that what is put on the internet is public, and there forever.
For those of you who saw the first edition of my blog, you know that I am a very brutally honest person. For those of you who don't know the story, it's just as well.
Within my blog, I never mention any names or hint at specific people. I never aim to hurt anyone's feelings or create something that seems like a "burn book" of sorts. It is for me, and a way to let me feelings out. I state the facts and my opinions on them. I may come of harsh at times, but I like to keep it honest.

I suppose my honesty is coming back around because frankly, I don't care if you read this or not. I don't care if you take offense to it or not. If you don't like what you read, don't keep reading. I'm not forcing anyone to do anything they don't want to do. Everything is a choice. I choose to blog, though I'm not entirely sure why. You choose to read it, though, once again, I'm not entirely sure why, nor do I really care.

Point is, I blog for me, and share it with you, so hopefully, you can learn the wonderful lessons life has given me up to this point.

Impossible is Nothing

Today at work, someone asked me if I'd ever come up with a crazy idea that I would want to do. I said of course, like any kid would, but it's a crazy idea and it would never work. The response I got actually blew my mind. "Maybe it would work, you just haven't found the person to make it work" That got me thinking that if that is the case, which I'm starting to believe it is, then anything is possible.

If I wanted to build the most outrageous house in the history of the world, I could. I'd just have to draw up the plans and find that one person who is willing to make the impossible, possible. There are ways to do anything, and in a world like ours, there are so many chances and so many opportunities to do anything. American's may be limited in some things, but choices are not one them. I get to choose my classes in high school, my college, my degree, where I live, what I do, who I marry, what I wear. Everything in my life is a choice that I get to make.

Impossible is a fictional word. It is a word for the weak, and the simple minded. It is a word for those who don't believe in themselves, or others. It is a word that is not in my dictionary, and it never will be.
I can do anything I want if I set my mind to it and I work hard enough. The world is a creation, it didn't get to be the way it is with people thinking things were impossible. Guess what people said when the idea of space travel was brought up? "That's impossible" But look at how far space travel has come, even in the past 10 years. It is far from impossible.

I believe that God (or whoever the creator is, whatever you choose to believe) put certain things on this earth as temptations in order to spark creativity. There is a purpose for everything in the world, and the reason it came to be was because the word "impossible" was never in any dictionary.

"Anything is possible if you just believe" -A Cinderella Story