Hot and Cold

I don't know if it's a severe case of senioritis or what, but lately, I've been really on edge when it comes to colleges. If someone tries to talk to me about it, I get incredibly irritated and snappy. I don't know why and I can't help it. I assume its because I feel so much pressure when it comes to choosing. A lot of people have had their lives planned out since freshman year. They know where they are going, what to study, who they will be rooming with. That's the thing that stresses me out. I had a plan, but it's nothing like what I'm thinking now. I don't know for a fact where I'm going, I've dipped my toes into countless programs to find my true calling, and I think I've yet to find one I really love. I don't think I'll know until I get to the school of my dreams. Which may be never, considering I'm facing the toughest decision of my life.
It's silly, really, to be so stressed about what college to go to. It's not like I'm signing away the next four years of my life; I can always transfer. I guess I just don't want more than one freshman year. Freshman year of high school was rough enough, now I have to have a second freshman year, this time for college. Two is more than enough, but if it comes down to it, I'd much rather be happy at the school I go to, even if it means moving around, than to be miserable for four years.
Even writing about this is making me irritated. I've just been that way lately.

Even some people are irritating me. The way they are acting just doesn't make any sense. Friends are supposed to support one another, right? But I've been seeing the complete opposite from some of my friends. I'm not trying to be hypocritical, I know I was doing the same, but seeing it from an outside perspective made me realize it's not okay. I believe in the fact that at some point, you're opinions only go so far, and your friends have to make the ultimate decision for themselves, whether it's one you approve of or not. It's a lesson for them, it's their life, let them live it. Besides, it may turn out completely opposite of what you expected. Friends are a support system, the opinions of them are always valued, but they aren't the ones who get to decide how to live your life for you. I understand if the intentions are purely to protect you, but at some point, as hard as it may be to do, friends just have to let go, and let mistakes be made. They exist for a reason; to make you stronger.
So for those of you who are facing difficulties in life, I guess all I have to say is do what your heart tells you. You only live once, so make it worth it. Take every chance that comes your way, you may never know what you'll end up regretting. That is one lesson I've quickly learned this year.